EBS는 KBS의 영어 성경공부 모임입니다. 이 글은 동생의 장례식에서 심우섭 형제가 낭독한 추모문으로 본인의 동의하에
원문을 웹진에 싣습니다.
Hello, my name is Wooseob Shim, and I’m Jinseob’s older brother.
I had the joy and privilege of growing up with Jinseob these past
23 years. Although we are brothers, Jinseob and I are at two opposite
ends of the spectrum when it comes to personality, looks, popularity
and overall coolness. Most people here already know where each of
us fits in the spectrum. It’s amazing how many times our mutual
friends would come up to us and confess that it never did cross
their minds that we were brothers. I would like to tell you about
my beautiful, cool, beloved brother.
Jinseob Shim was born in Seoul, Korea on November 18, 1982. He
was a second son to my parents YeonHee and Sangwon Shim. Both Jinseob
and I were blessed to be born in a very close-knit family. Our grandparents,
and many aunts, uncles, and cousins showered us with their love
and affection. As far as I can remember, Jinseob and I enjoyed a
very happy and pampered childhood. My dad worked hard at a Korean
company which is internationally based, and Jinseob and I spent
about six years in Bangkok, Thailand when my dad got transferred
there. My family moved to New Jersey, again through my dad’s company,
when Jinseob was in the 5th grade. He led a pretty normal and happy
childhood and we were blessed, as our parents always provided for
When Jinseob started middle school, we found out that Jinseob had
a seizure disorder. When Jinseob was an infant, he fell off from
his crib and was unconscious for nearly 12 hours. His doctors attributed
such an event as the possible cause of the disorder. Ever since
that time, my brother has been on medication of some sort. I remember
witnessing Jinseob having a seizure for the first time when I was
in high school. Nothing was more scary and painful to see him suffer
so helplessly. I can only imagine the confusion and fear the illness
must have brought to his young mind, and the kind of pain my parents
must have experienced. Thankfully, Jinseob’s seizure disorder was
largely under control through medication. It wasn’t until the latter
part of his college years, that he started having seizures again.
It was just last year that my family began to seriously consider
surgery for my brother. The medication he was taking was not working
as well. After hearing from the doctors that his seizure disorder
may be completely cured with this procedure, Jinseob bravely accepted
the challenge of getting surgery. Looking at his journal entries,
I can sense that he was grappling with the question of life and
death. It was during this difficult period, that my brother came
to commit his life to God. Johnny Pyon JDSN, who has been my brother’s
spiritual shepherd since 6th grade, helped Jinseob lay down his
life before Jesus Christ, just last month on February 15, 2006.
Jinseob wrote only one word for the journal entry that day in giant
My mom told me how some time after the surgery, which took place
on March 2, she found him weeping uncontrollably in his room. My
mom immediately thought something was wrong. But when she asked
him why he was crying, Jinseob held my mom so very tightly and wept
as he told her how thankful he is. He shared how thankful he is
for his family, for BBC church, for his dear friends, for a chance
at a surgery, and having the knowledge that God loves him more than
he can imagine. My brother’s last few weeks here on earth have been
marked by joy and gratitude. Looking back now, I see that God had
been preparing my brother, speaking ever so lovingly through this
medium of pain, that ultimately, Jinseob may come to know God. Doctors
advised my family that Jinseob should be on the lookout for depression,
which is a common side-effect of having gone through brain surgery.
But instead, by the grace of God, we saw Jinseob filled with such
joy and gratitude which we had not seen before.
As I have been hearing stories about Jinseob from so many different
people the past few days, I see a side of my brother which I never
quite personally experienced. I hear all the funny, cute and often
times silly stories about things he did in college, his conversations
with his best friend Alex, how Jinseob cooked sukiyaki for Alex’s
family the day before the surgery, and the impromptu visits and
counseling sessions he had with Mrs. Song at her office. It’s so
amazing to me how so many different people of such diverse age and
background, from his young cousins in middle school to Korean mothers
at our church, loved him and were his close friends. Jinseob had
so much going for him and so much to look forward to in life. You
see, my brother is quite a smart, talented artist. You should see
some of the professional pictures he took and web-photoshoppy stuff
he was always making on his computer. He had a lovely subtle sense
of humor. Just look at his logo which he had been working on recently.
I mean, what guy walks around with his own personal logo in this
day and age? Jinseob was actively interviewing for a full-time position
in Manhattan. He even got an offer and I kept telling him that it’s
a matter of time before he finds the right position. My brother
had his whole life ahead of him.
Yet at the same time, I see so many containers and bottles of medications
on his desk. He has been taking these pills since middle school
to keep his seizure disorder under control. As far as I can remember,
Jinseob was on these pills two or three times a day which weighed
him down tremendously with chronic fatigue and grogginess. We all
see him so carefree and light-hearted. I see him in so many pictures
smiling away with his trademark grin. He never ever once complained
to my parents regarding his medical condition. Even when things
got tough as we were going through the process of deciding whether
to have surgery, Jinseob was nuh mooh chaek hae (so very good and
kind). I believe Evelina, one of Jinseob’s close friends from Parsons,
had the right idea when she gave him the nickname ‘Jin Sheep.’ He
was always enduring, persevering and he absolutely hated, hated
to worry my parents. Such a sweet son, brother and friend to us
I was so very looking forward to conversing with him, and connecting
with him in a deeper way in the coming years. We being the typical
stoic Korean brothers, I often felt like Jinseob and I had to overcome
this innate sense of awkwardness just to open up and share things
of a spiritual nature. I was so very happy for our recent breakthroughs
in our relationship. Whenever I came home to Jersey from DC, Jinseob
and I would pray together in his room holding hands. I will cherish
this memory for the rest of my life and more. I remember how his
hands felt when I held it, stubby and fleshy, hairy and sweaty.
I was just so happy and proud that we were praying together. He
was so cheerful as he shared with me just last week how thankful
he is for everyone and every opportunity afforded to him thus far
Though my family and I are left utterly helpless as we begin to
cope with the loss of my brother, I can testify that God has been
bringing much good through Jinseob’s pain and sufferings. Not only
did He use the medium of pain to bring Jinseob to salvation, but
God used Jinseob’s condition to shape my family and draw us all
nearer to Him. One thing we know is that the Lord has given my family
a vision through Jinseob; a vision to share the Gospel with our
dear extended family members in Korea, and to live a life sharing
the love we have received through the Lord and the family of God
here in Berkland Baptist Church New York. Jinseob’s passing away
makes absolutely no sense to me, and I take it that I never will
fully understand why my beloved brother was taken from us at such
a young age. Yet as my mom always quotes, “[n]ot a sparrow will
fall to the ground apart from the will of the Father,” And in that
sovereign will of God, we pin our hope of seeing Him again in heaven
and rest our seemingly intolerable pain of separation in this life.
We are so very comforted by the fact that my brother put his hope
in God and knew Him. My brother Jinseob was completely known and
loved by God. God knew all of Jinseob’s hopes, aspirations and sufferings.
There is hope and peace in such truths made possible through the
death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.
As a young Christian, one of the last verses of the Bible Jinseob
was holding onto was Isaiah 30:26. It reads “[m]oreover, the light
of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the
sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when
the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds
inflicted by his blow.”
You see, my brother had faith that God will heal him of his illness.
He was anticipating eagerly the day when he would be able to go
through the mundane routines of life without the strong medications
that he has been taking for many years. We know that Jinseob is
indeed free from his illness, as He is now in heaven with His Lord
If Jinseob were here today, I believe Jinseob would have liked
to share the joy he found in having a relationship with this God.
My mom kept telling me how much Jinseob wanted to tell his friends
about Jesus and the joy and completeness he found in God. Many people
have been telling me that he was a different person since he came
to know God. I would like to end this eulogy by sharing a journal
entry Jinseob wrote right before he went in for his surgery.
Thank you Lord, for healing me completely like this...
People die everyday Lord, mopping floors, washing dishes.... and
you know what their thought is? I NEVER GOT MY SHOT....
Not everyone gets their shot at healing themselves like i did, so
even if i die today.... you know what my last thought would be?
I GOT MY SHOT.... and I think I did alright.
i know i could rest with that.
My brother was content and thankful for all he received, especially
for the opportunity and the choice for surgery as a way for treating
Thank you all so much for being here. My family is so thankful
for each and every one of you, and for people praying for us all
across the world. Our family friends both near and far, those who
flew in from Korea, Berkland church all of Jinseob’s friends who
cared for him, Jinseob personally thanks you for your presence in
his life and all the diverse different ways in which you have touched
his heart. We desire to share the hope of heaven together with all
of you. And Jinseob, since you’re listening from heaven, let me
just say I love you, I love you so much. I’m so sorry I never quite
put it into words when you were here.